When I started out on this mom-blog adventure, I told myself that I needed to remain real with you guys.
Sometimes I succeed, other times I find myself trying to write what I think y’all will like or what I think will get the most hits.
Why would I do that to myself?
This world of social influence is tricky, but the short answer to that is…I have no clue.
I lose my way, and then realize I just need to be real. Sharing my real motherhood journey is what I’m here for. The good, the bad, and the ugly (tantrums!)
Some days, I mope around, feeling sad about my auntie, or missing my husband and wishing he could be home with us every day…other days I’m couch-ridden with a migraine and heavily wishing my children would be quieter…some days I have cottage cheese smeared all over my clothes and ottoman and I haven’t showered in days, and yet other days, I wish there were more hours in the day because the kids and I are having so. much. fun.
Some days we are grumpy, mad, sad, moody, mean, tired, stinky…other days we are joyful, happy, excited, helpful and obedient.
All those days and the days in between are my motherhood journey.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help, it’s okay to say “I cannot do this alone today” and it’s okay to stick the kids in front of a movie so you can have a few minutes of SITTING DOWN time. It’s also okay to lose your mind and have cereal for dinner.
I’ve learned that some days are really, really hard. And some days are so much fun, and filled with so much laughter. Others are filled with tantrums and tears and possibly self doubt. And I’ve learned you guys actually LIKE to hear about the bad, because you might be going through it, too, or you like to offer up prayers during that time! And some of you share that you’re going through the same things, and it makes the world seem a little bit smaller; you’re not going through any of this alone.
I’ve learned that the only way to get through every days is with prayer, grace and patience. God lifts me up and sustains me, He makes me an effective mama–I’d have no chance on my own.
I’ve learned that our kids are pretty dependent of us, for more than just food and clothing…they’re dependent on our moods…if I am happy, my kids are more likely to be happy. If I’m mad, they’re more likely to act out or be disobedient or mad, too.
I’ve learned that I can learn a lot from my kids. They constantly teach me about patience, forgiveness and happiness. They also teach me about God, and sin nature, and unconditional love.
I’ve also learned that I can’t photoshop motherhood, I can only photoshop photos. My house is a mess 98% of the time, and the 2% of clean is seen on my Instagram photos…because “hello, I’m Monica, and I’m a tad OCD.” I do fall into that “only post the best” category but I don’t think that makes me any less of a good mom…so get over it. I’m very real in my captions and that’s what counts? If you don’t like my feed, unfollow me! I’m real…my photos are an expression of me and my love for photography. And I keep all the crying and grumpy photos in a folder for my own laughter (and for posts like this!)
And finally…(well, not finally, since I’m always learning) I’ve learned that people are going to hate, and judge and give unsolicited advice and tell you how to parent…and staying true to yourself is key. Let them think what they want to think and say what they want to say (you know you can delete comments or just not respond!!!) Just be real. Be you. And most importantly, BE KIND. We’re all on a parenting journey…let’s support each other and lift each other up. Because I’ve learned that’s not so common these days and I feel like something needs to be said about it.
If you take nothing else from this, take this:
There is only one YOU. And people like to see the REAL YOU. If you’re going to put anything on social media, let it be real. If you’re going to get together with someone for coffee, tell them how you really are doing…don’t just give them the highlight reel. And if you’re going through a hard time, I’m here for you and will lift you up in prayer.
And if nobody told you this today, here you go: “You is smart. You is kind. You is important.”