We lost my grandma last night.
Nothing can prepare you for that loss, no matter how prepared you think you are.
Her body is still here but I know her soul is with Jesus and there is so much peace in that. And peace knowing her pain is gone. But the grief that comes isn’t easy.
It’s taken me a very long time to realize that I’ve lost who I am.
Who is Monica?
A few weeks ago I woke up feeling numb. I’m not sure if I felt sadness, or darkness, or anything for that matter…I just felt blank.
I think we live in a world that tells us we need to be happy all the time.
Actually, I don’t think that, I know that.
I’m not going to draw this post out, because I think it’s actually very simple. We can portray a happy life with our highlight reels on social media…we can hide behind screens and put on fake smiles at family functions. We can show the world that we are happy because that’s what the world wants to see.
But…(don’t miss this)
IT’S OK TO NOT ALWAYS BE OK.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stop right where you are. If you’re feeling like the mundane is getting the best of you, stop right where you are.
I need you to take a step back, take a deep breath, and think about this for a second.
From when your child is born, until they leave at age 18, there is about 958 Saturdays. That’s almost 1,000 Saturdays and that seems like SO much! Maybe that number is overwhelming to you, thinking about the bad days and the hard days and the days that don’t end…but here’s the kicker. If you put 958 marbles in a glass jar and look at it, it’s nothing! Every single one of them represents one Saturday, and they dwindle down way too fast.
One of my favorite parts of blogging has been the new experiences!
I recently was chosen as Harney & Sons January Teafluencer and I got to answer interview questions and share my heart with you guys! If you missed it on their site, you can read it HERE, but I’ll also share it below.
Thanks for sticking around and giving me so so many reasons to keep at this. Thank you for the encouragment and love, and for joining me in this motherhood (and beyond) journey.
So grab a cup of tea, and cheers! xo
I feel like I blinked and 2018 was over, yet at the same time, I feel like it took forever.
2018 was…a mixture of so many emotions.
2018 taught me so much about joy, patience, heartbreak, grief, happiness and gratefulness.
As a child, I remember fun Christmas mornings with mom and dad and my brother. As an adult, Christmas was…let’s face it, I was bahumbug about it. Then when I had kids, the magic came back seeing the twinkle in my son’s eyes. Then my baby turned into a toddler…which brings us to this post.
The twinkle in his eyes was still here this Christmas season, but then so was something else. Selfishness. Or greed? Maybe I don’t even know.